Agoraphobic Nosebleed - Frozen Corpse Stuffed With Dope

One of my favourite grindcore albums. The last track, "FUCKMAKER", is pretty boring though. Bizarre lyrics, horror samples and wood chipper guitars ensue.
all i wanted is to be on the winning team

Sudden format change + The Drunken Tengu

I've recently decided to change this blog from a failed attempt at a parody news thing to a blog about art and 'alternative' music that I like.
With that in mind, I direct you to the works of S. H. Morgan. He has a fluent, unique style that seems particularly influenced by Japanese art, especially that from the Edo Period. He also draws lots of mythical creatures. Breadsticks. Breadsticks. Very good.

Bottled Water Reported to Consist of "over 50% cyanide," reports North American Science Association

The North American Science Society released a report last Tuesday stating that most brands of bottled water contain upwards of 50 percent cyanide.
The report continues, "the remaining half of bottled water consists mainly of chlorine, sorbitol, germanium and the tears of the innocent." It also explained that that high price typical of bottled water is meant to cover the cost of pure germaniun, a very rare mineral found only in the salt flats of Azerbaijan.
The C.E.O. of Aquafina declined to comment.

Giant Octo-Goat Attacks Monaco

A local newspaper from the area has reported that a rare octo-goat, a gargantuan half-goat half-octopus creature has been sighted wreaking havoc on the city/state of Monaco on Tuesday, 3 November 2009.
The Giant Octo-Goat and its relative the Common Octo-Goat is a mammalian cephalopod native to Monaco, Leichtenstein and other tiny European countries that are truly a waste of time to mention, which only emerges from its volcano-nest once every seven years. The Octo-Goat had not woken from its volcano in three years; leading crytozoologists are concerned as to what may have prematurely stirred the fearsome beast. To find out what may be the cause, I consulted my good friend who happens to also be scientist that lives in Monaco, Dr. Anton van RockitFoetus.
"My colleagues at the Monaco Space Station have hypothesised that the recent surge in earthquakes in tiny European countries that are truly a waste of time to talk about may have disturbed the Giant Octo-Goat's hibernation-esque slumber," Dr. RockitFoetus suggested. "Other than that, we are truly confounded as to what may have cause the behemoth's violent rampage."
He also told me how in Monegasque folklore, those unfortunate enough to get bitten by the Octo-Goat are said to suffer a horrible itching sensation that drives the victim to tear off large amounts of their own skin. This rash of sorts lasts for seven years, giving a gruesome new meaning for the term "seven year itch".
In total in Octo-Goat caused over $300 in damage, destroying all of the national government buildings, which were collectively about the size of a typical post office.

Area man invents solar-powered brick

High school sophomore and local vagabond Juan has invented a brick that uses the sun as its main energy source, according to his classmates.
"Juan doesn't have a cell phone, he has a brick," said Jonathan, who snickered whilst saying this. He added, "It has some numbers drawn on it with a sharpie, and the screen always has the words 'hey man, brb' written on it."
It is claimed that Juan "recharges" the brick by throwing it out of a window, and subsequently leaving it out in the sun. It has also been stated that the brick has "Sussudio" as its default ringtone. As of yet, this innovation in brick technology has yet to be copyrighted or patented.
The inventor, Juan, declined to comment, aside from grumbling "Shut up, Jonathan."